When God rebuked me
I've been silent about the HUGE LIFE transition that has taken place over the last two months. When I was in labor with my son Ethan in September, only half of my epidural was administered correctly. That means that half my body was completely numb, while the other half of my body was completely engaged in every contraction, pain, and transition of labor. I had no idea that six months later, this would be a depiction of my faith-filled life of following Jesus. When I was having Ethan, I screamed at the nurse to figure out a solution while sweat dripped down my face and my body was shaking. The truth is, it would have been far better to have had a completely natural childbirth than the pain and agony of a half engaged body.
Revelation 3:15-22 I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17 You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich, and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. 20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
21 To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne,just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”
In early December, I heard the Lord whisper to me "You need to be ALL IN" I believed this was a word for my husband Parker, as he spent his days working at Equinox while trying to start Salt Churches and help raise our two babies under two. We prayed together and decided that He should transition into full-time ministry. We spoke with the Board of Salt Churches and they confirmed. Parker began support raising and salt churches entered into a new season of health, vision, and expansion. Yet, something was missing.
Mid-January rolled around and I had all of my strategies in place to expand my business (NYC-Collective), lead Salt Churches, travel and preach the Gospel and train others to do so as well. Add on top of that, being a good mother to my 1 1/2-year-old son David and my 6-month-old cuddly bear Ethan. I could easily DO IT ALL. I was the queen of multi-tasking, was extremely resourceful and highly favored. As I boarded the plane, heading to New York to speak at a University on the topic of living radically, the Holy Spirit whispered: "You need to be ALL IN." I wrestled in my seat and re-worked my message. What did God want me to speak to these students? They need to be all in! Got it.
It is sometimes hard for a preacher to realize that sometimes the words God whispers aren't for everyone else. Sometimes, they are for you! haha
I journaled and asked God if there were areas where I had compartmentalized my life. I had reached many people with the Gospel through my business, created income for several Christians, and my company had given our family the flexibility to move across the country without any savings to start Salt Churches. Throughout the week, confirmation after confirmation provoked me. I sat on my mother's bed crying, wrestling with what God was speaking to me. In the background, on the TV, Joyce Meyer shared about her transition from being successful at sales and God asking her to quit her job to study the Word of God and preach. This was the very thing I didn't want to hear. She shared about living on faith when God asks you to do something new.
Now don't get me wrong, I believe with every fiber of my being that God DESIRES his people to be in the marketplace. I have been a part of his transforming power in board meetings, at events, and during photo shoots. We are ALL THE SAINTS and get to do the work of the ministry. This is one of my greatest passions, is to activate people of influence in the spheres they are in for His Glory. However, if God is telling you to do something different or new - we can easily become disobedient in our "diligence". As I continued to pray and seek wisdom from advisors, God told me to give away my business. This was very difficult. It made "sense" to sell my successful company to continue to provide income for my family.
If there is ONE THING that I have learned over the last nine years of following Jesus with all of my heart, it is this. Jesus is worth obeying. Jesus not only forgave my sins when I screamed out to him, broken and clamoring for peace. Jesus is also the Lord of my life, and I am committed to following Him no matter the cost. People often comment how radically obedient Parker and I, but the truth is, there is no other way I can live.
In 2016, we sold our things, we quit our full-time with benefits ministry jobs and moved across the country to start Salt Churches in California. I grieved what I was leaving, not realizing what God was giving me in- exchange. 1,000+ answered prayers being manifested in ONE MOVE. I am going to try to keep this as brief as possible, but in this most recent transition, I have been called to surrender once again. NYC-Collective was a gift of resource that God had given me, and I am thankful for that season, but for the last year and half, I have been living "half engaged" in what God is asking me to labor.
Since arriving in Orange County, God has shown me that I will never be a pastor. My job title at Salt Churches will never give me the status that gets you speaking gigs at popular women's conferences. Jesus has asked me to go "ALL IN" as a full-time missionary in one of the neediest places in the world. America. Believe me, when I say, it would be much easier to raise support, travel and plant churches in the poorest regions of the Phillippines. Yet, I lie in bed awake through the night, praying and petitioning for the spiritually dead in the land of the free. God has called me to be a voice crying out in the wilderness and to break the chains of religion. I believe a big part of my calling is to lead Christians to Christ and equip them to lift up their eyes and expand the Kingdom of God. I am obsessed with Jesus and believe that NOW is the time for a REVIVAl through repentance sustained by discipleship and equipped by a limitless church that meets in every home, park and office space. The Church NEEDS to be activating the saints to share the Gospel. Inviting your friends to service isn't working. We need a Gospel of Power not just merely good ideas and I am absolutely heart swollen to shout this truth from every Instagram post, pier, couch, and stage where God will put me.
Please pray about partnering with me. Don't pray later because you won't.
Please pray now. I need 20 more supporters to set up a monthly recurring donation of $100 to cover the basics of living. This gives Parker and I the ability to preach more, disciple more, plant more churches which all has a manifold return on investment.
Salt Churches is a registered 501c3 so your donation is tax-deductible, and if you can't give $100 to partner with us then give whatever you can give cheerfully.
Thank you already to ALL the people, friends, and family that are already praying for us and supporting us financially. I am so PUMPED to see what God is going to unleash as we all live yielded lives to THE KING OF KINGS! AMERICA WILL BE SAVED and SET FREE in Jesus name!